Keep moving Forward... & Onwards

Enough.

2010-02-25T08:06:00.000-08:00

Yet another wake...

Someone asked, "Do u think the family members of the deceased esp the Christians are able to absorb what the pastor shared during the wake?"

Well, my ans is 'of cos'. You hv juz experienced someone who has passed away *snap* 'juz like tt'. You kind of need some condolences & assurance frm God and reminder that he/she will be with Him. Constant reminder of slavation & that this is part and parcel of life helps.

As for the non-christians, this is a chance for them to question life. This is a chance for them to realise that they need God and know God. My uncle is a good testimony. He has yet to accept Christ. But after attending several Christian wakes, he got interested and start asking questions abt Christianity and our Lord.

***********
The next day after the wake, I replayed the whole scene of his final breathe in my mind again. I was in a daze for a moment. Ah, dun ask me why. It was beyond my control. But I got back to my senses and was back to normal rather quickly.

How I miss him.

Could it be....

2010-02-21T07:17:00.000-08:00

Could it be Time to take up those things that I've let go?
;
;
;
;
;
;

Is it within my ability?
Is it my selfishness?
Is it my fear of failing tt's withholding me back?

Well, it could be time.
It could be my responsibility.

IT COULD BE...

Dooooohhhh

2010-01-26T02:50:00.000-08:00

Juz realized I've got many many unposted posts... heh heh. Not sure of those content anymore.

anyway, i'm sick for a week... still sick... On antibiotics yesterday. Sadz
Got a referral to see ENT again. Appmt fixed on next monday. Sigh. Another Sian thiing.
apparently alot of pple fell ill in my work place lah... probably some virus going ard.
I must Get well b4 NEW YEAR!!! all the goodies waiting for me lor...
Apart frm the goodies, must get well & stay healthy also lah.. got so many impt plans ahead. Time to stay healthy due to Responsibility liaoz.

Ok.... hubby is back! with his new toy... Flash.
Got to entertain him... BYEZ

What's hidden will reveal itself

2009-12-01T07:29:00.000-08:00

The strong wind blew the carpet up...

and...

Ta-Da!

Dust underneath. :(

The unresolved will always be unresolved.

And the actions reveal it.

Sto-o-o-o-o-o-o-P It!

2009-10-04T21:55:00.000-07:00

Attacked! Right from the top...

Wake up before more harm are done.

Blood Donation

2009-08-05T09:43:00.000-07:00

Blood Donation!

I've resumed donating blood last week after stopping for a long long time ever since I fall sick nearly every month. Guess what? The record showed my last donation there was in the year 1999. I nearly fainted. But then, I did donate at other places lah. But that was also many many years back.

I'm Gonna make sure I'm a regular Blood Donor from last week onwards!! (since I am able to walk over from my work place to make the donation, DURING office hours. :P ) Wahaha.

Neighbourhood

2009-08-05T09:20:00.000-07:00

Today, my course ended early at Clementi. So, I decided to go to my BL place, Nap for an hour or so, then leave for meeting in church. There is a sudden surge of happiness in me as I walked back home. The familiar faces of those elderly, the familiar pavements, traffic light, staircase, bus-stops, playground... everything tt I used to be so familiar with to the extend that I did not slow down my footsteps to admire, have all became so dear to me now. Alright, these are signs of getting old... but I guess it also explains the fact tt humans will only begin to appreciate when they start to lose them. Let's not make this a way of life though. Let's Appreciate what we Have. Learn to Slow Down and Admire...

The Pavement leading to the junction and train station.... it's also the pavement tt gives me lots of spiritual enlightenment during the days tt I hv to walk to the train station as early as 6.15am. Can see abit of sunrise, peaceful pavement in the early morning. Can be very therapeutic. :)

The fitness corner. Something tt my sis and I have not utilised despite much contemplation. Exercising with elderly is really not my cup of tea.

The Staircase leading to my Block.

Crab Feast

2009-08-05T09:00:00.000-07:00

It has became a ritual btw my 4th sister and I to eat CRABsss during my bd month. Hee hee... I LOVE IT! Of cos it's Alvin and her treat. Oh, it's D's BD month also, and he lovesssss CRABS too. It's a BD treat for 2. This year, my mummy joined us! Yippee! I Love My Mum's presence. :)

Ooooohhh... These CRABS are HUGE.... Fleshy and Fresh!

Chilli Crab! not too spicy, so still can taste the crab, juz nice. Man Tou dip in the sauce, Wow... Bagus!

The soup is super nice! You can taste the original taste of a crab in this dish! Not covered by the flavouring of chilli, pepper, xian Dan, Butter, etc. I love this alot!

Lord, Shld I...

2009-07-22T07:55:00.000-07:00

Step in or not?

What's yr worldview?

2009-07-22T04:52:00.000-07:00

Suicidal AGAIN.

He divorced his wife. His 2 sons and 2 daughters, all adults now, does not acknowledge him as their father. "My father has already passed away," they said. A typical response from children who hates their father. He apparently has a 12 years old daughter in Indonesia. He must have had extra marital affairs. However, he doesn't acknowledge this other women. He called her a "friend".
His natural parents are angry with him for divorcing his wife for another women. "I do not have the courage to contact them", he said. = No family support. He has no house to stay in. He stays in his workplace when he's on duty for the night. When he doesn't, he lodges at his friend's workplace. He told his friend about his suicidal tendencies, his friend told him to drown himself instead of jump. =No proper safety net from friends. Obviously, he has no money. =Financial difficulty. His one eye is blind, and his another eye has serious internal bleeding. = No health.

He has made a will to give his 12 years old daughter his CPF money. All planned, well planned. He wanted to jump at a specific place and time last week, but he does not have the courage. Today, he replied he does not know if he'll appear on the next appointment when he was asked and added that if he doesn't, it would mean tt he has committed suicide.

Qn: If you are one of the the grown-up children, will you give him the support he needed (financial and/or emotional) upon knowing his current situation, despite of his past misdeeds?

(Nope, I won't ask if you will jump if you were him :P)

For me, I guess I will, at least the minimal to keep him alive.
My col said no, but will refer him to social services. =.= tt's herself? haha. prob not lah.

Self-Care

2009-07-10T06:52:00.000-07:00

*Disorganised thoughts* (Dun read if you are

Self-Care is an impt part of a helping profession.
I've been through many many modules and courses, and most of them will include this into part of the material.
But I guess, it's not easy to practice it Successfully. No wonder our lecturers will always want to cover this portion of the coursework even though it means to extend the lessons.

Well, I am totally Unprofessional. *Not referring to work. I'm professional at work one okkkkk... :P

I'm not sure if i'm wrong though... since it's really not a Job per se. Juz like wat i've recently told someone tt we can't treat it like a job. So, where does professionalism comes in here?

But at the same time, inability to practice self-care is detrimental to the well-being of those whom you are helping, thus = unprofessional.

Ah, nevermind what i'm saying. I'm dwelling on the NOT AT ALL IMPORTANT school of thoughts. Shall leave it to the scholars.

The main point is, I have been too emotionally entwined with their well-being.
When one of their live is worrying, it can keep me awake through the night. But thank God it helps when I pray to fall asleep. On the contrary, when they make improvements, I'm perked!

It is getting unhealthy for the past few days. I've got to rethink and re-position myself.

Not to worry, or perhaps Sad for You that I'm not gonna quit.... although keeping the RADAR ON 24/7 is super duper tiring... esp when hiding and lying have been a norm for the current gen. You know, Dusts under the NICE Classy Carpet. It's saddening, cos they have no courage to tell pple they've got Dusts under their carpet.
Furthermore, there are still too many outstanding issues to be addressed... I KNOW them, but I'm still waiting for the right timing, and also confidence to lift those Carpets Up.

Enough abt Carpets... haha

My tone is slowwww and draggyyyyyyy when I'm typing this.

I think I need rest. I mean Enough Sleep. Got to work tmr. Zzzzz....

Sleep well, God is in control. :)

My Presentzzzz!!!

2009-06-27T20:09:00.000-07:00

Yeah.... Can't wait to see them! XD
Gosh.. I miss the smell of tommy girl. I love it since my sec - poly days. hee...

***Can't wait to see my dearest hubby MOST of cos... haha

Whose perception

2009-06-27T08:47:00.000-07:00

Oh... My hubby will be back soon! In 6 hrs time to be exact :)
The thought of it makes me happy although we still won't get to see each other till next sunday.

Oh, I've pasted some house rules for deary at our bedroom door... hope he follows to minimise the risk of spreading if he suay suay has AH1N1. I super kaisu... scared he spread to his folks lah. Hope the post-sticks all over his monitor comforts him a little too! haha

I'm back at my JW place. Wore mask in the Car while on my way back... Juz being socially responsible to the kind souls who drove me back upon my request. haha. Can't get to slp despite the drowsiness. Too much things to do here, perhaps. haha. The only bad thing about here is, there's not enough food. The fridge is spoilt.. Gosh.

Hmm... another thought came to my mind... (the 1st was not published... err, I chose not to publish it. heehee).

Anyway, here's the other thought...

YOU SERIOUSLY DESERVE BETTER.

I think alot of pple feel tt way too lah, and you know it too... They told u as well.

but then, whose perception weighs more? yours or others? sometimes, love juz covers all. Hence, u hear some pple say, "So be it lah. He/She loves her/him too much liao..."
maybe you know it very well too... But you chose to let Love blind you. Cos it's LOVE wat...
hmm... sometimes I feel tt pple who uses too much intellectual to analyse Love, dunno What is LOVE.
And those who dun use adequate intellectual to handle Love, dunno the Practical issues of Love.
Oh well, but where's the balance? No one can tell you exactly.

Alright... We are heading no where... it's juz thoughts ya... thoughts that hv no definite black and white answer.

Love has no black and white answer too... Tt's y i dun regret loving. cos it's not wrong loving. Juz wise or dumb. haha

However, it's worth pondering if quite a no of significant pple tell you tt you deserve better. Think and discuss abt it b4 it's too late ya!
Else you will end up having to deceive yourself to make yourself feel better. Tt is wat I'll define as Qi1 Liang2... Oh, in fact I see a lot of pple in this situation. My heart goes out to them... but can't help... sometimes I help them to deceive themselves too. It's the best way to help them I guess -.-"

Time flies

2009-06-26T23:55:00.000-07:00

Gosh... It's been a week! How fast!

My hubby will be back Tmr 6am. I will be gone later...

Going back to my mum's place to avoid him for a week :X

Waiting for someone to fetch me home later upon my request. Dunno wat time though.

Anyway, I was sick since thursday. Very slight sore throat only... rather it's discomfort on the neck, then shoulder ache, then VERY bad headache... After tt felt feverish, but not caught by thermal scanner/ thermometer. Felt better after self-medication in office. Then, Extremely weak after I got home in the evening... Confirm fever in the next morning on my conventional thermometer. Reported sick on fri...

Went to a GP... The infrared sensor forehead thermometer is SOOO Inaccurate. My temp was 36.8. I was surprised but thought maybe my fever subsided. Reported my temp to my office happily. However, later, when I was in the room with the doctor, his Ear thermometer indicated 38.3. -..- Well, not my problem rite... It's their inconsistency, or rather the thermometers... His attitude really cannot make it lah. Anyway, maybe doc r now very stressed due to H1N1 lah. Nvm. Hmm.. come to think of it, I was the one who told him I got fever in the morning after he said 'no fever rite?', then he checked again. Shld appreciate my honestly mah. :P

I do not know what's my diagnosis till now... and i think the doc does not know too. No runny nose and cough confused his assessment I guess. Kept asking me abt H1N1 thingy... Probably bec his clinic is H1N1 pandemic ready, and also bec I work in a hospital setting. Everytime I told him 'not tt I know of', he will reply 'even if hv u also dunno'. Fine Fine... I very guai replied him 'YES! PRECISELY!'... -..- Think he was pretty pissed off by my reply. haha. But well, his 'attitude' face is really unforgettable too. Oh, I was given 3 days mc. Fri, Sat, Sun... but... I dun work on Sat and Sun! haha. anyway, I was supposed to stay at home lah... meaning not to expose myself to others due to the pandemic. No one is sure what I'm carrying until I develop other symptoms or until i'm well. So, i shall guai guai stay at home. The 2 clinic assistants were later called into the room... then one came out to ask me for my occupation, later the other asked me to fill up the H1N1 survey form while giving me my medication. No one in the clinic was given 'this kind' of attention. =.=

Slept like a log from thurs evening till today... Yeah, I was practically sleeping the whole day yesterday. Woke up in the late morning to see doc, and late evening to eat and take medications... then slp again.

Felt slightly better now... Awake frm 12pm till now... 3 hrs! Break record liao. haha. but then i think i need to slp again. The drowsiness is making me uncomfortable.

I have never felt sooo Weak before... Even No Energy to walk lor. Sigh. Sick with no significant symptoms somemore... Duh...

*** I finally true-ly understand the frustration of not knowing the diagnosis yet feeling Sooo Unwell. It can drive u crazy. And I know y some pple will want to try doing Insane stuff juz to seek more medical Attention. Don't scold them lah... They r desperate pple... esp when they r not old enough to understand and not so educated like you lor.

No Chance for Nap Nap

2009-06-22T02:14:00.000-07:00

Gosh... 2 suicidal cases in a row. It was super draining. But I guess I do enjoy what I'm doing.

Have been seeing patients one after another today. I end up not drinking enough cos I dun even hv a chance to leave my room to refill my bottle. Not good... cos My throat is not doing well. Afternoon is a little better cos I get to drink... but... I end up having to hold my bladder. -..- Hmmm... I realised I've been doing too much of tt lately. Can feel that my bladder muscles is weakening!

I'm having an headache... not due to workload though. As you can see, I got a chance to blog in office now. :P Rather, it's bec I have to wear a mask! I'm only away from work for 4 day lor... apparently, they started the mask procedure right after the day I went on leave. Hopefully I'll get used to it. And i do Pray that they won't want us to wear the N95 mask.

Oh... it's not completely negative for the 1st day of work after a long break. I've got Performance Bonus! Praise the Lord! haha. Well, it's pro-rated... but still, it's seriously like God giving me money... err, maybe money drop from heaven is easier to understand. Anyway, I didn't expect myself to get any bonus cos I'm still on probation. I've not done any appraisal yet (hmm... hw did they give me that rating siah?) Somemore, the financial year's cut off is somewhere the time I joined. Wahaha. Soooo happy even though I'll only received half of them upon confirmation and half in december, together with my 13th mth. Gosh... I still got bonus in times like this... Really wanna Thank God for the blessing!

My Work Station

2009-05-27T01:17:00.000-07:00

I'm kind of bz these days... but apparently, I just dun hv the mood to work now.
So, I played with my phone, and transferred images to my pc... hence... show casing my work station below. haha

What a nice gold plated name display. It somehow looks kind of BIG in the office.

My well-furnished room, with super good privacy, can close sliding door also. It's of cos the place where my patients weeped, scream, scold...

Called to do it... JUST DO IT

2009-05-21T22:37:00.000-07:00

Lord, teach me to do what I'm called to do with a willing and cheerful heart.

Considerations

2009-05-13T20:36:00.000-07:00

Alrighty...

Check: Has everything sinked in? Yes
Emotionally stable? Yes
Rationale? Yes

Great. Good time to ponder.

I've been bumping into pple's personal life account. There's a kind of guilt which made me wonder if i shld read. Bec, well, it was meant to be kept confidential i guess.
but... hmm.. I read lah since I was given to read, or perhaps it's good to know, or perhaps pple thought it might help in some way.

Hmm... Thanks, it does help. But sometimes, I rather not read so tt I don't know. haha. I know I'm contradicting myself. I want to know, cos I'm curious of what's really going on in those small minds, or maybe I OUGHT TO KNOW so tt I can work out my strategy better, but then... reading them does make me trip to a great extend, if not stumble.

I can only rate those readings as "Good to know" as of now. But the recent one was.... err... "Rather not know". haha.

I'll just 'hibernate' my emotions for the time being i guess. I've learnt too much of that for the past 7 years... I wonder if it's going to rebound and hit me hard one day. But too bad, I really got to let it remain as it is. Call me 'Emotionless', ya, JJ? haha, but I think the name 'Weakling' suits me better. :P It's not something which I can handle well now. I will think about it, but not react to it, can? Too many things to be taken into considerations. For the sake of the pple who will be affected by my well-being, the pple who are waiting for me to be there to help, the pple who are watching hw I'll react to this, and most importantly, the pple who are waiting for me to save, I HAVE TO pluck up my courage to Move On. I NEED TO and I HAVE TO. Hey! That's Bravery in me -1 pt scored! :D

15 mins ago...
*God really has a great sense of humour even in consolations. Thks for the recognition, lord.

Half day MC

2009-05-11T06:26:00.000-07:00

I'm down with flu since yesterday morning. I was attending church with my mum and was sniffing all the way thinking tt it was my usual sinuses. But nope, it didn't go away. I quickly popped an antihistamine, but well, it was too late. The drowsiness sets in, my shoulder and neck aches...... Zoom! I was on my bed AT mum's place frm 12.30pm to 5.30pm.

The running nose didn't spare me till today. It was kind of under control though. All staff has to report sick at staff clinic... So, I travelled all the way down to workplace, just to report sick and get an mc. Monday morning... LONG QUEUE. From Triage to waiting area to collection of medicines... it took me close to 4 hrs. The waiting time turns me off frm being sick.

In fact, I wanna knock my head against the wall or maybe strangle myself. I didn't recognise my own Name, and hence missing my turn. This MO's pronunciation is so bad tt I didn't realise tt he is calling for me. Well Done...

It was not too long till I get to see the doc after they know tt I was actually ard... but the pharmacy was slow due to shortage of staff. When my name was called and i thought it was my turn to collect my medicine, the pharmacist told me they dun carry the medicines prescribed to me here. =.= So I got to walk to SGH's pharmacy to take queue no and hope tt they hv my medicine. Another hr gone...

Luckily I'm not THAT sick... If not, I think I would hv cried. haha

Oh yah, it was noon by then... Just a Half Day MC. No wonder the doctor asked if i want today or tmr's MC. But then, I am still on probation. No MC for me, It's considered my leave. T.T

Leave Freeze

2009-05-06T01:46:00.000-07:00

This is bad... Our leave are freezed since Monday. Those who took leave last monday were asked to report to work. Those who are sick, were also asked to report sick at Staff Clinic. Sick also must crawl back to see doc at staff clinic......

Well, it's not a good time to fall sick. But my body's aching.

Anyway, hope tt things will be better by June. Else there goes my long approved leave for church camp. Sigh.

Failed badly for Kimberly mask fitting today. This ducky mask not good lor... Small is too small for me, regular is too big for me. The bitterness still lingers at the back of my throat... moreover, my lips are stained with the bitter medicine! Wouldn't wanna lick my lips for the time being. haha

Going for flu jab this fri... Zzzz....

Alright, I'm bored at work. Oh... my colleague may join us for the night cycling next week! Dunno if i'm be able to drag her for the bbq... hmmm...

Oxygen appreciation lesson

2009-04-28T19:28:00.001-07:00

Gosh... Thermal Scanners are Up, All exits are shut other than the main entrance, and we r all Masked up in N95 -a more protected masks as compared to the normal surgical mask tt u often see.

I can't breathe properly... I need FRESH AIR! I was panting when I talked to my patients... I can't hear my colleagues correctly. I was dragged to learn hw to make announcements b4 my breakfast. :( I'm so so sad... (oh, I wonder if i sound like those MRT announcers.) And the worse thing is, I've got marks on my face caused by the tight fitted mask. That is ugly! Anyway, luckily I got prata for breakfast to make me happy today. Hmmm.. there goes my last night's swimming effort.

It's time to see a doctor and stock up my nasonex for my nose, and purple asthmatic puffs for my lungs.

"God, have mercy on the pple ard the world, and be with ALL of us..."

*****
CNA news update:

The Ministry of Health (MOH) has elevated Singapore's alert level from "green" to "yellow" to guard against swine flu.

It said this is to better brace the country to handle situations where there may be isolated imported cases but no sustained local transmission.

MOH said: "The World Health Organisation had raised the pandemic alert phase for the swine flu outbreaks from Phase 3 to Phase 4. The change to a higher phase indicates that there is sustained human-to-human transmission, capable of causing community-level outbreaks.

May 'YOU' be put under control

2009-04-27T23:46:00.000-07:00

Let the swine flu be under control so tt less pple will die w/o salvation and less families/friends suffer frm the loss.

And... I dun wanna be mask up! Hmm, wat a self-centred pt of view. But i seriously can't breathe under the mask. Somemore, if there's confirm cases in S'pore, I'll hv to suffocate under tt full PPE (personal protective equipment). Perhaps I'll die of asthma attack rather than swine flu. Ha! Anyway, it's only performing hand hygiene after seeing every patient at the moment. I simply need more supplies of hand mosturizers for now. Anyone? haha. Hmm... my colleague was asked to station at the triage next week, under tt mask. Oh no, I think I'll be the next if the situation dun improve! Gosh..... T.T. Juz got a bad news. I was sabotaged by my boss to make announcement to the whole eye centre!!! Can't they just record the previous announcements? Dun hv to change pple to announce rite? Hw many more pple can they rotate if this is going to last for months??? Gosh. I dun wannnnn.......

The human swine flu development is ticking like a bomb. No one knows what will happen next. No one can predict the seriousness of the situation for the next second. It was still Green to pre-yellow alert this morning during briefing. At 10am, it was yellow. -.- Triage was set up at all exits, and patients jammed up there to be screened since yesterday. But i guess we can't help it cos there were a sudden 2 suspect cases. It best to be vigilant after the SARS epidemic. And this time round, it will be very much worse off.

"What’s worrying is that the new swine flu strain could spread faster and is harder to detect compared to the SARS (Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome) virus, which caused an epidemic in 2003."

For SARS, however, the person becomes infectious much later, a few days after the onset of fever.

If it (swine flu) gathers momentum and proves to be very effective in human—to—human transmission and it follows some of the very common characteristics of the influenza virus, then yes, the spread from human to human is much more efficient in influenza as compared to SARS." -CNA

Mmm... since I or rather We can't do very much to stop or prevent the epidemic, shall we put our hands together and pray? Shall we quit procratinating and spread the gospel to our family/relatives/friends? I guess facing swine flu isn't as scary as facing death without salvation.

i LOVE mrt

2009-04-22T22:48:00.001-07:00

---> A FREAKISH storm with strong winds uprooted trees, damaged cars and left a trail of destruction on Wednesday night, all within about 15 minutes.

There were numerous reports of fallen trees island-wide, with at least one car damaged by the falling branches in an open carpark. At a housing estate in Dover Road, a large tree almost snapped in half and lay fallen on its side, with other branches strewn across the grassy area.

Eyewitnesses also reported that large plastic barricades used in roadworks were blown across a road by the strong winds, causing traffic obstruction.

***************************************

And the worse thing is, I was caught in the 'double Jam' --> morning jam cum traffic obstruction (fallen treessss).

LATE for work!!! Argh.

Furthermore, the taxi-driver was as irritating as the jam.

"Miss, u die liao, U die liao. Confirm Sure late one. U dun believe me, u see. Later sure Jam frm XXX to XXX. There's no way u can avoid. Confirm later than u take MRT. U dun believe, u see for yrself. tsk tsk tsk. Ke2 Shi4 ni3 Can3, Wo3 men2 jiu4 hao3 lor."

>..< OH man Uncle! Give me a break, PLSSssss.........

Happy 1st Month Anniversary

2009-04-20T17:56:00.000-07:00

It has been our practise to celebrate our Monthly anniversaries since 5-6 yrs ago. That was of cos during our courtship, and that was when the KFC gaga started (but not practising tt anymore for health and preference reason). Oh Yes, it was as simple as KFC. Simple, yet satisfying. We do miss out some actual day celebration here and there, but I appreciate the made up celebrations and even the simple smses. As u begin to guess, I shall confess. I'm usually the one who forgets. -.- Awww, I'm guilty of my forgetfulness. I'm so glad I have a good memory and romantic partner. :P

Oh well, since 21st Mar 09, our date for celebration shifted one week earlier and our 'XX' mth, refreshed. It's kind of weird. But it's ok. It's juz a matter of getting used to it. hmm... He's bringing me to some place where we haven't try b4 for dinner today. Cool... Well, Next mth will be my turn. He wanted Ms Clarity? hmmm... It's girlish, I told him. But seems like he wanted to go. Oh well...

**********

I was pretty much involved in other's r/n during these period of time. Sort of a spiritual companion cum counseling work. I enjoy this kind of work, esp when I'm serving together with hubby. :) Different pt of views r good, as there's no such thing as one-size fits all thingy. The best thing is, we discuss abt them, and not quarrel over them. I guess the enjoyment in it is really seeing pple being empowered to hold on to God, to His truth, to their faith and hv hope in Him -despite that the situation may seem bleak, may not improve and even to the extend of having to make some devastating and hard to make decision.

I believe there's a lot to learn in counseling. I see myself learning 4ever, but to ALL who will be or who is offering some kind of a counseling to others (incl small talks), I urge u to TAKE HEART in not killing esteem, force down decisions (as in literally), and be non-judgmental. At the end of the day, we all want to see them willing and having peace in the Correct actions to take. We all want them to feel better after sharing and to feel empowered to make those changes (doesn't mean no scolding though. Scolding and being blunt at the right situation and timing is part of the skill to learn ;P). Also, Decision making process shld be shared and discussed, and not forced down (doesn't mean no offering of suggestion, just taking the hassle to ask & analyse hw exactly they feel and what they want; explaining and discussing the pros & cons of all ideas, point to them the right direction; and empower them to move towards it). I guess we do not only want them to do the right thing in this incident. I believe we also hope tt they can gain some skill for future problem solving, and making Godly decisions.

****
Ah... why did i side track so much? Perhaps working and blogging at the same time is not a good idea. haha. I spent the whole day blogging abt this. >.<

I wanted to talk abt the beautifully imperfect campaign which is more relevant to my title topic de. hmmm.... Oh well... Tonight, perhaps.

Thank You

2009-04-06T08:25:00.000-07:00

Many thanks to...

My ever loving, faithful heavenly Father.

When I look at my past, I wanna Thank You wholeheartedly.
When I look at my present, I jump in Joy & Praise you for yr awesomeness.
When I peep at my future, I wanna pour out my heart to express my heartfelt Thanks.

Thank you for granting me the peace and faith.

and yes, I enjoy being Mrs Koh, for Mr Koh is an amazing Godly Young Man. :)

Heart Attacks & ???

2009-03-16T18:47:00.000-07:00

"More heart attacks occur on Monday than on any other day."

That's an interesting finding that I read frm somewhere. Dunno if it's true.

Due to Monday Blues? Or Post-weekend syndrome?

Whatever it is, we shld look forward to Everyday! Moreover, We do not know if we will get to see the world again the next morning.

Talking abt this, I guess I do have regrets. Juz One, hmmm, or maybe two.
(since when hv i broken my own record. How sad.)

*********

I'm at work. Spent the whole morning typing this little paragraph >.< as I got patients popping in to see me as an when.

What i get this morning?? The extremes.

The Very rich, and the Very Poor.

Will there be a day when there's no gap? I doubt so. But at least close up a little?

And for the rich, can u pls STOP complaining abt the service and the crowd for the subsidised?

And for tt 18 yrs old young lady, can u pls show a little more respect for the poor and elderly, instead of feeling disgusted abt having to sit with them while waiting to see the doc? U r simply rich bec yr parents are rich. What makes u so High-Class? Sigh. Youngsters nowadays r so... *tsk tsk tsk, Shake head*

*******

The RIGHT Language

2009-03-10T07:33:00.000-07:00

Use the RIGHT language... that's an Impt lesson to learn.

I've been wondering if there is a way to reject patients yet they will not be Angry with us.
Perhaps still angry, but at least not with us, and they are able to Understand the rationale.

I'm pretty happy with my performance today. :)
I rejected a few patients Beautifully. haha.
Nope, my job is not to Reject. But tt's part of my job also.
Anyway, Thank God for the Wisdom and gift for today.
I do hope I am able to sustain and not forget the importance of it after some time.

It made me ponder abt our daily lives when we communicate with others too.
Sometimes, we wanted to bring something out to someone with good intentions, but it's something tt the other party will not readily accept/ happy abt.
I guess the Tatic to do it is perhaps also Using the Right Language.
My Language here is not abt Eng/Chin/dialect....
I meant the words use, the tone, the way we put it across.
According to the other party's understanding, maturity, 'soft-spot', etc...

All I can say is... It's an ART.

It's an ART tt ALL shld learn.
It does not only help us achieve wat we want which of cos is also wat we deem as Good, it's also an impt GIFT to the other party.
Rather than forcing it down their throat, Coax them to open their mouth to swallow the Bitter medicine.
Let them see the reason to do so.
They will be thankful at the end of the day, rather than leaving them feeling bitter.
It either Build or Destroy a person.

I'm guilty of it, be it aware or unaware.
I've been learning, since.
I hope I am always so sensitive.
I hope I am able to sustain.

God help me. (us?)

Struggling pple

2009-03-06T06:54:00.000-08:00

I've been seeing patients with Real and Unreal problems everyday.

My job is to empower them... All of them... in any way that is BEST for them. So, sometimes, I dun offer them any help.

It's really All Up To my own Discretion. *But of cos according to standard policies. I pray for wisdom. I pray tt I do tt everyday.

There are lots of pple struggling everyday. When they come into the system to receive help, they are already in a very bad state. Sometimes I do wonder if they are cursed. Frm the oldest till the youngest, none escape illness. NONE.

Everyday, I sit in my office listening to each of them unfolding their stories.

It made me realise that everyone do hv a story to tell. But are we aware of it? Do we take for granted that pple around us are FINE? Did we allow them to TELL us their story? Did we jump into conclusion, assuming that we KNOW their story?

I guess it's a reminder for myself to STOP and LOOK at familiar faces who are yearning to be heard or perhaps even shouting for help... and of cos to ASK and LISTEN.

Suddenly, I remembered that I've got a long overdue mission to accomplish.

It is ridiculous if I dun attend to it.
I may even regret for the rest of my life.

How many took the Correct Van

2009-03-06T05:26:00.000-08:00

Seeing a corpse/ standing beside one a few times a week has became part and parcel of my life.

I nearly kicked unto one in the metal casing yesterday morning. The attendants were as shock as me. >.<

Many looked away when they saw it. We were all a few minutes 'late' cos we had to let it take the lift first. It was the right way to do of cos... we were at the mortuary.

The car park is usually filled with vans frm different casket of different believes. There was once I saw vans of different major religion. I would hv taken a pic if i have a good camera.

The thought tt ran through my mind was, "How many of these souls actually belong to God?"

I'm getting old

2009-02-13T07:27:00.000-08:00

I've been talking abt my past to my lunch khaki. In fact, I've related them to another fren of mine a mth ago.

I enjoy doing so... and yes, it's a sign of me getting old. -.-

But who cares?

I am able to testify God who has done great things for me and my family!

I shared the good and glorifying moments, and of cos the bad and dishonorable times...

I told how God blessed and prosper those who obey, and also how He forgives and guide when we lost sight of Him.

I like the feeling of happiness in my heart after sharing. Our God is magnified, glorified and remembered -by me.

His blessings r not being forgotten, but were counted, appreciated and retold.

*******

I'm juz pretty happy wif myself for being Myself who is the SAME infront of God and everyone else.
I'm not afraid to face my past, and is able to reminisce every single bit of those moments.
I've not done everything tt's pleasing to God, neither have I done everything tt's according to God's will, of cos...
However, I know tt Those were the PAST, the PAST tt I've left at the feet of Jesus, forgiven and straightened out.
Hence, I'm able to share them, so tt I can tell pple how God had helped made my paths straight!

*******

To those who hv mentioned tt they r ashamed when they think of their past,

"You Dun hv to if u leave them at the feet of Jesus."

Timid mousey

2009-02-02T01:16:00.000-08:00

I wish I could be bolder...

O.O

2008-12-30T11:44:00.000-08:00

Gosh.. I can't sleep... This is kind of pathetic. I wanna slp, I enjoy slping...

Well, since I can't slp, and sooo many thoughts running thru my head...

Let's talk abt the force frm the dark side. Hopefully I am able to slp then.

The dark side has always been out to distract and best in disguising itself.
It seldom shows its true self, especially to children of God, as they can be easily recognize.
Once children of God r able to recognize it, they will not be distracted.
Hence, the dark side tend to disguise itself, and create a smokescreen where children of God r unable to recognize them or identify that the havoc is created by them.
Children of God start to look upon the problems as problems created by others, self, or even God instead.
Once they start focusing on the problems, they ended up distracted....
Instead of focusing on loving God, knowing God and serving God, they got engrossed in disliking/ hating others, feelings of guilt, jealousy, competing, etc...
And of cos, not only does the dark side disguise itself to create problems, they disguise itself to create 'fake happiness'...
These 'fake happiness' r in fact earthly things tt children of God were granted to enjoy.
However, it was 'fake' when children of God start focusing on them, and lose sight of God.
They may include things like Love, academic, career, sex, family...
These are Good things tt God will want to grant us, however, if we lose sight of Him, these can in turn become stumbling blocks and make us sin...

It has became a SIGNIFICANT TASK for Children of God to identify the dark side today.
They r not so easily identified anymore.
Stay alert is one thing... the other more impt thing is to Pray that our Merciful Lord have mercy on Us.
Show it to us, clear away the smokescreen.

I always believe tt it's ok to lose track a little here and there, as Everyone does....
The impt thing is WE GET BACK ON TRACK, QUICK.

* It's really frustrating hearing snores when u can't slp! Argh"

After an eventful week...

2008-12-29T10:31:00.001-08:00

I'm dead tired... but I enjoyed every single bit of it!

Tues: Mum was at A&E. Aunt accompanied her cos she felt dizzy and nausea frm a fall in the afternoon. Apparently, Mum juz sprained her wrist frm the fall. Hence, she still went for her church's christmas celebration when she suddenly suffered frm dizzy spells and felt nausea. Aunt brought her there. Mum called sis cos she thought she will be home and me, bz wif church as usual. This made me felt kind of bad. Anyway, sis called me after she reach. I got to know only after TQ's rehearsal when I'm wif LJ, accompanying her deliver some goods. She kindly sent me to the hospital. Thank God it was nothing serious, juz sprains. However, the scans, ECG, cum drips took several hours... and we can only leave the hospital by 3+am. It was raining cats and dogs then... I've finished my Nissin Laksa while waiting. Uncle came to fetch us home... Hw nice. I enjoyed the hours spent wif mum and sis. I'll spent more time and not forgo family time.

Wed: Christmas eve. Celebration in church. It was funny and entertaining... but most of all, Pastor Foo's sermon was SUPERB!!! I like the light stuff, then suddenly something impactful in between. Ha... nicely built in. The courage to do the calling was encouraging too... I do hope there are pple who quietly accepted christ despite no one raised up their hands tt day. Well, I had been one of those in the past. I went home and did not stay for count down. The count down didn't seem as impt as compared to my family. My mum needs me... Well, she does not really NEED me... but rather it'll be good if I'm ard for the night.

Thur: Christmas day. Prepared for youth camp and the starting of youth camp. We dun seem to be well-prepared after being so bz wif church activities. But well, I know it'll still run smoothly despite hiccups here and there... God's grace is always sufficient. I'm not at all worried. The team bonding, Christmas dinner, Christmas celebration and angels & devils went on very well... It was ridiculously well. It was interesting to hv all the debrief after the activities. And I will nv forget running away like MAD frm all the youths who were out to get back on us. =.= It was like running away during war times, carrying a HUGE BASKET! >.<

Fri: The prev event ended late... after bathing and supper, it was like 3+4am in the morning? We got to wake at 7... Yeah... we woke up early, for breakfast, and then games, worship and sermon. Well, some fell asleep, some tried not to. But I guess something impt still manage to drill into their mind. "Stand Under" the truth and not "Under Stand" the truth. Well, 1 pt is better than nothing lah. Off we went for our day at pasir ris.. God blessed us wif good weather, wif occasional drizzle... water games ended up wif several casualties. But still, they built sand wall for nearly an hr or so! Still ask for more time! Gosh... I really wonder what's so fun abt building sand wall? Oh, Mel and I ran like MAD again escaping their water bombs! The poor boys did not run... they warned us to go first. Thk u sooo much! Well, We ran a little too early lah.. they dun even bother to chase us. The night cycling was really fun... 1st time cycling out of pasir ris park... all the way to changi Village! It was really Shiok, wif Alvin controlling the bicycle. I'm on a Double bike! haha... I guess I will not enjoy it tt much if I'm on a single bike. Oh well, Casualties again. A VERY BAD ONE! >.< While we wanted to call our CS, cos we were too tired, the super energetic youths wanted to carry on wif the game. So well, they went off for their CS HALF-DEAD. haha. We camp out at pasir ris... on cemented ground. Poor Shaoqi di di... but it was a break through ya!

Sat: Went back church. Bathing was tough cos we were so so tired. Delayed the sermon timing to let them slp more. But amazingly, no one fell asleep! Or rather, they managed to keep themselves awake! And when tested at night, they are able to tell me L=know yr Limit, I=God's Instruction, F=Fear god, E=Express Godly living... They are impressive. Amazing Race was next.. I was still wondering if they r able to finish off the race... and worried abt the morale.. They surprise me! haha... Well done youths... It simply shows tt u r able to go far... Use it wisely for God's grace. Not forgetting the testimony sharing.. It was heart warming. Those who were not planned to share, shared. It shows spiritual maturity, and courage to share about God. It is also a chance for us to share to them about our God. Oh well... BBQ was great too. ;) Thks to our TQ peeps who helped us prepare so much food! We headed back for our closing...

Sun: Service.... I was dead. I hv to confess tt I FELL ASLEEP... even during worship while standing. oh well, AL and ZL knows the classic joke. >..< It was the 1st time since dunno when's the last time tt I slept during service man... luckily I sat at the corner. May it be the last time.
After service, I rushed down to attend my cuz's wedding... Everyone was well-dressed, except me.. in glasses somemore. I really can't be bothered lah although I do feel abit out of place. I was gong gong throughout... Glad I did manage to smile and chat lah.

Went straight home to slp since choir prac was over. I was a little sad but a little happy lah. Mixed feelings. haha. Alvin brought my bag to my place cos my hp charger is in the bag. how nice of him. He was already soooo tired. Yuling called me in my dreams too... I remembered wat she said, I think I'm good. haha. But I dun really remember Alvin came... until my sis told me alvin is sleeping in the living hall's sofa. >.< It was already 8+... After having a hard time waking him up, he finally moved his butt and went hm. After my dinner and some slacking... I went back to slp again.. it was 10+ and I slept till this morning 1plus!!!

Ok... I guess I can fall asleep now after endless recalling and typing... It's juz one the way of helping me slp. Meeting up with chuandao niang and mel tmr... and also my sec sch fren at night.

Oh no.. i've grown so much darker... Sadzzz...

New Balance~~

2008-12-21T18:33:00.000-08:00

There is no right or wrong...
as long as all will achieve the same goal...
and end up in the same place.

Be open minded.

It's juz the style.

But... some style does hurt alot & incur loses.

hence, choose wisely

Ponder how they will feel when u try to push for what u think is good & right for them.

Perhaps that helps them more than simply trying to achieve some goals of yours.

Oh.. He made tt mistake before.
It was chaotic.
But he had changed, Since.
And.. things juz stabilizes.

It was God's Wisdom & grace.

Irony

2008-12-21T07:51:00.000-08:00

It was sooooo Ironic tt I wanna laugh at myself...

I shld hv recorded wat I've said to u @ toast box and play it back to myself now.

>..<

No one but U can perform a miracle...

Rest in Him

2008-12-15T21:48:00.000-08:00

My attachment is over... and tt marks the end of my 2 3/4 yrs of studies.
The mixed feelings are there...
On one hand, i'm happy tt it's all over. On the other, I'm pretty depressed tt I've got to face the world again.
Ha ha ha. As if i'm hiding frm the world now.
Anyway, I'm resting in Him now. At the same time preparing for youth camp and my wedding.
Will find a job soon... Shan't rest too long!
Maybe.... next yr? Hee

Oh.. PTL tt the photo taking and photo selection had been a smooth process.
No rain on the day of our photo taking, with nice sunset and two photographers!
It was enjoyable and not as tiring. We even had the energy to eat steamboat after the session. hee~
Photo selection is also great! Although it's the toughest process but we managed to choose 42 photos w/o topping up!
Meaning w/o hving to pay additional money. We went there twice lah... 1st day abit noisy and distracting, wif the photographers and uncle chatting & joking wif us. The 2nd day of selection was very much peaceful, wif a nice lady helping us cutting down on the photos. No Force selling at all... No one trying to make us top up photos. haha... It was God's grace man... cos many couples will end up in a sour note wif the pple @ their bridal studio. But ours was peaceful, wif pple helping us cut photos somemore. haha!!!

Well... Let's see if I can get my momentum back.

Oh, I'm pretty sad tt my mum had to attend another church. I felt as though I hv neglected her and am being really selfish.
She's wif my aunt there... and let's see if she can get used to the church and if my aunt can truly accompany her.
If my problematic aunt's temperament acts up, I guess i'll hv no choice but to accompany her. Wat abt my sis? oh well, I think she'll follow us... but it's still up to her lah. I'm kind of stuck in btw. I'm risking two souls... but if i were to choose, I'd rather give up on my sis and secure my mum since my sis is younger and hv many more yrs of her live to help. haha. :P
U see, it's really not easy bringing yr own family to know Christ... but to me, I feel tt it's even more difficult to make them stay in the faith. Esp the older ones. For me, my job for one had finished, which I'm glad it ended well, and there's another ongoing one... not many yrs left, so I'm holding on tight.
Ok... keeping my fingers cross for now... It's not as though she is not adapting there or Alone w/o anyone she knows or does not feel like attending church anymore. I'm juz keeping my radar on, tt's all.

U'll not be forgotten

2008-11-22T08:01:00.001-08:00

Time flies and we've moved on...

Time will heal and it's true...

Time nv stop for any of us but it does not restrict u anymore...

How nice, cos I'll hv a chance to catch up with u.

No matter how long,

Be Sure that,

You'll nv be forgotten.

;)

2008-11-11T05:19:00.000-08:00

If one is unable to take care of oneself, one is unable to take care of others.

PTL

2008-11-03T06:40:00.000-08:00

Good things hv happened today.... PTL!!!

Early in the morning, I was told to help discharge a kid to the foster mother.
I still remembered when the case was juz known to us, my colleague and I visited him on a SAT TQ time.
He was utterly sick, unresponsive, totally 'damaged'.
Imagine a 4 yrs old boy who was only 6kg and can only walk 10 steps...
He does not respond to anyone, including his dearest sister... or anything, including food or toys.
He is seriously malnourished, and medically defined as failure to thrive and had global developmental delay.
For these factors, he unwillingly made the history for serious ill-treatment.
We fought hard to push the police to charge the caregivers.

Anyway, today, he offered me a HUGE SMILE upon seeing me.
His appetite is good, and he was being naughty with the nurse who fed him.
After which, the nurse carried him down to show me how well he can walk now.
He wore his shoes, which the doctors were so excited about...
He played mischievously with all the lady nurses... pinching each other's noses.
His sister and the foster mother came to fetch him.
He had a little sadness on his face upon leaving the hospital.
However, he was quick to play with his sis and another foster girl.
The 3 of them were having a really good time together!

The sight of this warms my heart.
I thank God for his progress, as I know this is a job where I have to fully rely on Him.
I can only remove them from further harm, but am not able to heal their already broken soul.
Who else can, other than Him.
May God bless him and sis for their future endeavor.

Another good thing seems so unimportant as compared to the above.
My 2nd Gown Selection was successful.
Hee Hee *.*
Two of my sisters were there to help me on both days... I'm Thankful for my Family!

Discovery

2008-10-28T07:19:00.000-07:00

This is weird.

I LOVE High School Musical.......

:)

ADVOCATE *Inspired by the caller last night

2008-09-08T03:00:00.000-07:00

I WANT TO BE brave enough to advocate for people who are stigmatised, discriminated and labelled.
That's what my profession upholds, and I'm ashamed by how timid I can be when it comes to advocating.

I am afraid of disagreeing... esp to those who appears harsh and self-righteous.
But I know I'm owing these pple when I don't speak up for them...
I know if I had spoken up for them, It'll make a whole lot of difference in their lives.

Oh, yes. I do have success story.
Juz one. -.-
I'm glad I have done it and able to convince the other party.
I used the soft approach of cos... reasoning kind of stuff.
(You wouldn't wanna see me lobbying, would u? I'll prob end up in another place.)

Everyone deserves a 2nd chance. (Incl. myself, You and YOU!)
I will still bring up the Yellow Ribbon Project, even though it's not what I'm focusing here.
It's bec of our unfair stigmatisation and labelling that these ex-con are unable to Reintegrate and start a new life.
Face it. It's OUR fault here.
(Despite other issues of them going back to their old ways, I must say that these are completely two separate issue. )
*Support the Yellow Ribbon Project k!!*

Similarly, we tend to discriminate and label people in our daily lives.
Yes. They may be people who had made grave mistakes in their lives, but that doesn't give us the right to stigmatize them.
They are already bearing the consequences. Can't u see?

You might not know by just labelling/stigmatizing them, you have already IMPRISONED some, DISABLED some and KILLED some.
I believed your intentions are otherwise or You have probably simply overlooked.
But pls, even if you have no passion in helping these people, STOP putting huge stones infront of them.
What good does it do to you when you see them fall flat on their faces again? To PROVE that you are right in what you have said?

BTW, Jesus Advocated for Sinners too!!! Of cos Sinners who r willing to change and be a follower of Christ.
So, WWJD when he sees pple being discriminated and labelled?
He stood up, Advocated for them by forgiving their sins and stopped pple from condemning them.
And Jesus said, "Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more."

**********
Let's give them a 2nd chance kkkkkk......

I Love my Students

2008-09-04T08:19:00.001-07:00

It's probably gonna be my last teachers' day this year. Hence, I'm taking special notice of it.
Not the gifts of cos (though I hv the intention of posting them some time later ;P), I'm more particular of the impact that I've made in their lives.

So, I have concluded that...

I'm pretty successful. ;D

I love my students (including those I'm tutoring),
AND
They LOVE me. ;P

"A hundred years from now,
It will not matter what my bank account was,
the sort of house I live in,
or the kind of car I drove.
But the world may be different
because I was important
in a life of a child."
~Kathy Davis~

*It was a 10 mins long goodbye today at the entrance of Charis centre cos it's the last day of work for the year. Even though I told them I'll be back next year, I shared the same feelings as them. Thks for all the hugs, goodbyes, I like u, I miss u, bu she de kind of stuffs... but Argh, I hate goodbyes.

Tt's prob Y I shun frm all these for a long long time ever since THEN. I make sure I keep an appropriate protective personal space, to be safe. I choose to be analytical rather than emotive. But well, I can't stop yrself frm 'feeling', can I?

^^The person who appears strong is in fact vulnerable. No matter how much u try to cover up, U KNOW u r still who u r.

Thank You, Lord. (Part 2)

2008-09-03T09:24:00.000-07:00

I've got my placement in MCYS Child Protection Unit (Investigation)!!!

It is unbelievable! It seems completely hopeless... and then, God granted me with it.
On the spot when the staff announced it, the first thing that came to my mind was to thank God.
Well, it seem like a small thing... yeah, it actually is... But I simply felt so pampered by God.

Juz like what some of my classmates have commented, everything is so rosy for me now. If they were me, they'll be extremely delighted.
YES. Praise the Lord for tt!
It's TOO rosy that I find it hard to believe it as well.
Well, of cos, it's not simply bec of the placement thingy.
They've seen in my life, from small to big things, God has appeared to plan it out nicely for me.
When it seems impossible, God has made things possible.
And I'm always progressing steadily into diff stages of life without much hiccups.

Yup! I'm extremely thankful for all these, and also thankful that others are able to see U thru the wonders that U have done in my life. :)

Thank You, Lord.

2008-09-03T08:00:00.000-07:00

Today marks the end of my study life...

Basically it's just end of classes... I still have 3 more months of placement and after tt, it'll really be THE END of the course.

It was unbelievable how I've been through all these... and all I can say is: Praise the Lord!

Firstly, it was the finances...
how on earth am I going to fork out $42k? But guess what God has planned for me... VCF funding of 30%, Lee Foundation funding of close to 30%, Love gift frm Charis, Insurance pay out (Juz in time), Lots of tuition kids, Increment of tuition fees by parents, and support frm Mummy ;)
It was stressful when I work out my finances every mth too. But I've managed to scrimp and save till I've still got some money for occasional buffets... and most importantly, Savings. ;P

Secondly, it was the crazy life style...
For a normal day when I have work and class, it was 7am-3pm work, 4.30-6pm tuition, 7pm-10pm class... @.@
Other days when I dun have work, I got to do my assignments, give tuitions, and class...
For some days when I dun have work and class... I will do my assignments and give tuitions.
Other than work and classes, I still have to juggle church life, friends, and relationship.
It was seriously crazy, I tell u...
but things got so much better this semester due to a change of system. Fewer number of classes! I was able to breathe... a little more. ;)

Then, there were the assignments...
Endless of thousandsss words essays makes me nausea, even the thought of it now. I guess I can even publish a thick book with the number of essays that I've done.
With the limited number of hours that I have, I've learnt to be efficient. When the others have so much free time, while mine were all packed with other commitments, I've learnt to work within my means and hold on to what I believed in.
God pulled me through and I did well (in my eyes)!

Lastly, it was the classes itself.
The stressful presentations and the freaking role-plays are the scariest thing in my entire study life. It was like throwing someone who can't swim into the sea... But it's all over now! I've attended all of them, and I survived! And..., I will still freak out in role-plays. -.- haha.

Anyhow, I've made it... Praise the Lord!

Ridiculous

2008-08-28T20:10:00.000-07:00

I've always wanted to go MCYS for my placement and have been praying about it...
At first, it was skewed towards the hospital setting (my 2nd option) and low chance for MCYS.
I was telling myself nvm, God must hv felt tt the hospital setting is more suitable for me...
however,

Now...

I've got my place in MCYS but stuck btw two units --> Foster Care & Child Protection! (Over-powered prayers?? haha)

SSTI wants me to go Foster Care, but my tutor offered me child protection Investigation unit.
I'm more towards the liking for child protection investigation lah... more exciting and challenging. Like wat my fren said, like CSI! Working with children is my 'forte' and something I enjoyed somemore.. but SSTI said foster care kind of confirmed already, so its unfair to them. Which means I may have to stick with foster care unit.

Hai...

Still fighting for child protection... but chances seems low.

But it's ok... No matter what's the final decision frm SSTI, I'll juz thankfully accept.
My prayer is simply to place me in somewhere which suits me best and I can have an excellent learning experience, plus a GOOD SUP!

3 more weeks to go

2008-08-17T21:06:00.000-07:00

It's close to a month since my last update...
I'm still alive though I'm still pushing myself to get things done asap.
Shall post more 3 weeks later... my semester ends then. ;(
Then it'll be my placement.

So tentatively, I juz wanna say a very BIG THANK U to my God, since Nothing else is worth my time to post for now.

His Timing Rocks, His Plans Rocks!
Everything came at the right timing, so well planned tt I will always be grateful.

And also... I'm LOVING 0104!
*oh, U dun hv to feel threaten at all, HTB. ;)*

Suppose to

2008-07-20T23:06:00.000-07:00

Who determine what we are 'Suppose To' do?
Is it God, ourselves, others, feelings, urgency, promises, or???
Well, I guess all of us hv used many other factors to determine 'Suppose To'.
Some factors are just subset of another... and they overlaps.

Well... that's not the point actually.
The point is, I am Suppose To be doing my assignment...
And apparently, I'm not. Cos I simply can't get myself started.
:( This is depressing.
I've wasted the whole morning.

Mental Health is 123

2008-07-14T04:37:00.000-07:00

This is not a must read article... but it's good to know since more and more singaporeans are mentally unhealthy.
You might want to read about it too... Who knows who needs some help?
Do a simple math calculation for yr score... and see hw many percent u get.

Source: Extracted frm National mental health association

Mental health is 123
(A mental health checklist)

Many people, when they hear of the term mental health think of mental illnesses.

Mental health is something all of us want for ourselves, whether we know it by name or not. When we speak of happiness, peace of mind, enjoyment, or satisfaction, we are usually talking about mental health.

Mental health has to do with everybody's everyday life. It means the overall way that people get along -with their families, at school, on the job, at play, with their peers, in their communities. It involves the way that each person harmonises his or her desires, ambition, abilities, ideals, feeling and conscience in order to meet the demands of life. It has to do with:

1. How you feel about yrself
2. How you feel about other people
3. how you are able to meet the demands of life.

There are some of the characteristics of people who are mentally healthy.

1. They feel good about themselves
~ They are not overwhelmed by their own emotions -fears, anger, love, jealousy, guilt or worries.
~ They can take life's disappointments in stride.
~ They have a tolerant, easy-going attitude toward themselves as well as others and they can laugh at themselves.
~ They neither underestimate nor overestimate their abilities.
~ They can accept their own shortcomings.
~ They have self-respect.
~ They feel able to deal with most situations.
~ They take pleasure in simple, everyday things.

2. They feel comfortable with other people
~ They are able to give love and to consider the interests of others.
~ They have personal relationships that are satisfying and lasting.
~ They like and trust others, and feel that others will like and trust them.
~ They respect the many differences they find in people.
~ They do not take advantages of others nor do they allow others to take advantage of them.
~ They can feel they are part of a group.
~ They feel a sense of responsibility to fellow human beings.

3. They are able to meet the demands of life
~ They do something about their problems as they arise.
~ They accept their responsibilities.
~ They shape their environment whenever possible; they adjust to it whenever necessary.
~ They plan ahead and do not fear the future.
~ They welcome new experiences and ideas.
~ They make use of their talents.
~ They set realistic goals for themselves.
~ They are able to make their own decisions.
~ They are satisfied with putting their effort into what they do.

Goodbye Holidays

2008-07-14T03:35:00.000-07:00

My new semester started last Fri...
The thought of it is kind of depressing, but I don't feel depressed. Or should I say I think I should be feeling depressed, I ought to feel depressed, but when I ask myself if I'm really depressed, I realised I'm not.
Ah~ oh well, I'm juz thankful I'm not depressed.

My holidays were short but it seems long.
How shld I put it?
~It is a Short but TIME-CRAWLING holiday.
Sounds good?
Wat does it reflect, anyway?
My holidays were boring? No, definitely not.
I'm a workaholic? No, I'm pretty lazy.
I'm lacking in prog? No, I'd only been staying home for abt 3 days.
Com'on, it's easy!
I'm simply easily satisfied and pleased! haha
Juz give me Food and Sleep... I'll be grateful to u for the rest of my life! (Nah.. out of pt)
In fact, I think I wanted the sem to start early, so that It'll end earlier.
I can't wait to go thru the whole phase of high mental & emotional tension!
I'm not a psycho freak... I juz want to get it over and done with...

The following is juz ritual to get me started for the new semester... dun hv to read on actually... unless u got lots of time.

I've came up wif a holiday timetable for myself and now, when I look at it again...
I realised I've accomplished most of the things I listed.
From Catching up wif pple to Leisure to Others...
I'd onli missed out a few...

Accomplished:
Calling pple for donations (good response but meager sum),
catching up wif yangbin (glad he returned call),
ex-colleagues (tough coordinating but made it),
attachment colleagues (it's been a yr!),
Zhi an (breakfast b4 service was a challenge),
Longxiang (Happy Birthday @ Fish & co),
Elder sis & Little Aiden (Thks 4 remembering me as Ah Yi),
2nd sis (Young @ heart, but perhaps leave behind some Japanese Culture. hee!),
Alvin's parents (Happy Birthday, thks 4 the frog leg porridge),
Lihui (Always close to the heart),
Jieming (We've hv grown up, Goodbye bro, forgotten to wish u well),
Shijie (Happy Birthday @ Parris, wif sis too),
do Clay dolls (all thks to JJ),
go for Spa + Massage (Complementary frm Sis),
Trim Hair (Jason @ Pioneer mall Kimage has superb cutting & PR skill),
Shopping (Spent a bomb-mainly on things I need though),
recap my rusty Sanfu (my 1st accomplished task!),
go for a pre-gastroscopy check-up (Waste of time & $),
come up wif TQ games timetable (one of my 1st few accomplished task),
visit to dentist (Very happy wif the service -All stains GONE!),
watch movie online (Only managed to watch one cos seldom home),
a short trip wif my family (Went Genting and shopped @ KL).

Missed out:
Meeting up wif Pri sch frens (hesitated in coordinating),
Weijie (his poor time management),
peishi (Work late tt day, then gave birth the next day -..-),
Poly Frens (someone couldn't make it @ the very last min)
Little Hazel & Rina (I was sick tt day >.<)
Exercise class (Too Lazy, let my classmate down though ;P),
go for Lentils-making class (wanna save some funds).

Oh, there are also things that happened not according to plan...
Like the whole family going to the wedding studio 4 my sis, Jap buffet after tt @ United square, Aiden's 2nd BD party, etc, etc....

Alright... tt is it....

Goodbye Holidays!!!

Thanks

2008-07-02T09:49:00.000-07:00

It feels good knowing that frens cares and appreciates.

I didn't expect them, but it juz happened. Thank you for all yr extra efforts & kind words.

I'm still struggling to learn all these... I'll try to be more expressive!!

Anyway, Thanks for yr extra effort in making liang teh for me, yr sms-es in showing tt u appreciate, yr small gifts, yr time in wanting to meet up, yr calls...etc.... It warms my heart.

Refresh

2008-06-22T08:42:00.000-07:00

It's not tt I'm refreshed frm my holidays...

It's juz tt I've refreshed my blog....

BY MISTAKE. >..<

Dun ask me wat i've done... I hv no idea. it's juz a simple click.

anyway... It's a sign of getting old & unable to catch up wif technology. *yeah, I admit already k. dun hv to remind me by calling me aunty everytime u see me lor. T.T hee*

I dunwan to refresh my life... cos I love every single bit of my past.
I love the happy moments---> the salvation, the surprises, the jokes, the love, the companionship, the sharing, the gifts...
I love the sad moments ---> the loss, the guilt, the betrayal, the misunderstandings, the quarrels, the disappointments, the mistakes, the regrets...
I love my present, and will love my future as well....
It's all part of a masterpiece...
Our life, a great masterpiece if it's drawn by our beloved Heavenly Father.
If only we can let him hold the paint brush and stop trying to move his hands... or worse, hold the paint brush and start drawing on our own.
But even if we do, it's ok... Let Him be in-charge once again and he can creatively make it into a wonderful piece of artwork again.

Y hope that our life can be refreshed???
If it is done according to our will, our life will juz be a blank piece of paper.
Much worthless than any lousy art piece.
Dun forget that Our God has the ability to make it into a masterpiece.

A masterpiece in HIS eyes...